Wednesday, April 23, 2014
  1. Mayor de Blasio celebrated Earth Day by proposing to ban wood-burning fireplaces. It’s part of his initiative to make NYC cleaner by connecting with 3 of the 8 million people living here.

  2. Monday, April 21, 2014
  3. The Knicks have fired their entire coaching staff. But don’t worry Knicks fans, the entire roster that didn’t make the playoffs is still intact.

  4. Thursday, April 17, 2014
  5. A dog has been summoned for jury duty in New Jersey. So if you’re wondering what that smell is in the court room, it’s the other jurors from New Jersey.

  6. Monday, April 14, 2014
  7. The first weed vending machines have been installed in Colorado. These should be considered a gateway vending machine to other vending machines.

  8. Thursday, April 10, 2014
  9. A nursing home on Long Island is in trouble after hiring strippers for the elderly patients. Both the strippers and patients went home with wrinkled ones.

  10. Thursday, April 3, 2014
  11. A Cubs outfielder wore the wrong uniform during the first inning of Thursday’s game…just like he does every time he puts on a Cubs jersey.

  12. Wednesday, April 2, 2014
  13. Vladimir Putin officially divorced his wife of 30 years. No word yet on who gets custody of Crimea.

  14. Monday, March 31, 2014
  15. A court ruled that Carnegie Deli must shell out $2.65M to 25 workers to settle a lawsuit. At $106K each, the employees have the option of being paid in cash or 9 pastrami sandwiches.

  16. Sunday, March 30, 2014
  17. Mayor de Blasio will throw out the first pitch for the Mets on Opening Day, which is the perfect fit for a starting rotation filled with guys who are overpaid to underperform.

  18. Saturday, March 29, 2014
  19. Ray Rice married his fiancé on Friday, one day after he was indicted for aggravated assault by a grand jury for striking her unconscious.
    The couple plans to spend their honeymoon on the beautiful island of Rikers.

    Ray Rice got married on Friday, in an effort to make the transition to prison life more tolerable.

    It’s been announced that on Friday, Ray Rice married his plaintiff.

    The bride wore a beautiful Vera Wang dress which she ordered online, while Rice wore a beautiful orange jumpsuit which was ordered by the court.

    Although neither of them are Jewish, Rice did step on a glass and then threaten her with it.

    Ray Rice got married on Friday, one day after he was indicted for aggravated assault. Looks like he wanted a head start on losing all his rights as an individual.