Wednesday, July 30, 2014
  1. Girls star Allison Williams is going to play Peter Pan on NBC. I can’t wait for that iconic scene when she complains about how the Lost Boys won’t text her back.

  2. Monday, July 28, 2014
  3. Sarah Palin has launched her own 24-hour news channel. The channel is expected to attract the coveted 18-34 brain cell demographic. 

  4. Wednesday, July 23, 2014
  5. Michael Moore is a getting a divorce. His wife told him that her box office is closed.

  6. Michael Moore is getting a divorce. His wife is looking forward to seeing other people, while Moore says he is looking forward to seeing other people suffer and making a documentary about it.

  7. Michael Moore is getting divorced after 22 years. That story again, someone lived with Michael Moore for 22 years.

  8. Tuesday, July 22, 2014
  9. A new study says that New York City is America’s unhappiest city. New Yorkers are gonna be thrilled to hear about this…

  10. Thursday, July 17, 2014
  11. FedEx has been charged with delivering illegal drugs to customers. Authorities caught on when they started offering overnight, ground, and “meet me in the parking lot” shipping.

  12. Wednesday, July 16, 2014
  13. The KKK are handing out candy to recruit people in South Carolina. That’s right, people in costumes are GIVING AWAY candy. If you thought the KKK was backwards before…

  14. Tuesday, July 15, 2014
  15. A woman in England has spent $30,000 to look like Kim Kardashian. She paid $5,000 for breast implants. The other $25,000 she just stuffed in the back of her pants.

  16. Monday, July 14, 2014
  17. Carmelo Anthony has reached a deal to remain unproductive with the NY Knicks.